Monday, May 9, 2016

Standing on a Weak Foundation, Broken Down by Temptation...

So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall- 1Corinthians 10:12

I've read this bible verse many times. Especially having done a 12 step and going on to doing a second 12 step (I highly recommend all to do a 12 step at some point in their life). This is also one of my sponsors favorite bible verses.

It may seem like a simple statement or even a fair warning. To think that one is standing firm but could easily fall, there are many other expressions that connect to this verse:

  • Pride comes before the fall (Proverbs 16:18)-
    • Interpretation-If you are egotistical or wrapped up in yourself, you can fall (failure, humiliation, embarrassment, loss,abandonment, rejection, arrogance) and lose sight of what is really important or what really matters 
  • Vanity is the quicksand of reason -
    • Interpretation-Putting importance to the wrong things (money, material, power) that one forgets the important things (God, family, friends, life)
  • You can't build a great building on a weak foundation- 
    • Interpretation- If the core of a person is not solid, then the person will discombobulate in the future
A weak foundation is no place for greatness 
It doesn't matter how it is said or written out, the bottom line is knowing what our foundation is, and what is our core of the foundation as well as knowing what are our temptations. The following verse in 1Corinthians states: "No temptation has overtake you except what is common to mankind"

In the past I have fallen victim to my pride, ego, arrogance and weak foundation, my foundation was my ego and my core was my arrogance, my inability to accept that I needed help or was in need of correction in areas that I needed improvement. Temptation lurked in every corner of my foundation and core. 
Bottom line, the reality is we will continue to fall, there are temptations and shortcomings everywhere. But our focus should not be whether or not we will fall but learning to get back up and on firmer ground, learning to rely on our Higher Power and being God-dependent.
The biggest fall I have taken so far was leaving home thinking that I was better than anyone, that I can do it all alone(total ego). I took a job in Morgan Hill where I would be paid double what I was making in the prior workplace. Not once did it occur to me that I was standing on the quicksand of my ego and that it would be my downfall. 

I felt inadequate to take on any other job after I was terminated, and the reason was because I fell into the temptation of lies and arrogance. It was during this time that I had to break down my ego and pride and go back to the basics, demolish who I was, I had to make Faith my foundation for the new me I was building in Christ (I baptized myself during this time). 

During this time period of my life I was praying almost every day. Half of the time they were liquid prayers. At the time I didn't know that I should try to be prayer specific, 90% of my prayers just said "God help me."

After two months of being unemployed and having filled out over 149 applications for different positions from file clerk to Administrative Assistant, my foundation was none existent in my ego, but in my anxiety instead of Faith. As I rebuild myself it was no longer on my pride, however my core was my fear. 

Finally, I was called by a temp agency. It was for a coordinator position, and it would be on a temporary basis. I definitely felt that it was a blessing and took the job. It was here that I had to demolishing myself once more, and start rebuilding who I was. 

This new opportunity was a blessing, I ended up working in a place where the managers gave me advise and support. I was challenged, and when I struggled they would ask me to ask for help, because the expectation was that I needed to break the habit of putting it all on me. I was being sharpened and was feeling a new sense of hope. I gradually started building my foundation once again this time on optimism with my core being joy. 

They supported me through my last day, working with business partners to give me additional projects (this was the only way to extend my stay until I moved on to the next job). Towards the end of my last week, I came to find that two of the managers were actually Christian and they found as their purpose to help me get back on my feet on firm ground once again. 

There will be many falls in our lives, that is inevitable. Getting back up is the challenge, as well as rebuilding our foundation to be firm once again to not fall into temptation. 1Corinthians 10: 13 ends with letting us know that when we are tempted God is faithful and will not let us be tempted, he will provide a way out to endure. 

This is my third time finding my way out (of temptation), this time I am building my foundation on Faith and my core on Christ. I won't rush rebuilding myself, just like a house, it take time, the right materials, tools and Godly people. Rushing to rebuild myself could result in another fall from the foundation. Taking the time, will help me see the areas of my building that need improvement and modification as I continue to grow. 

This has been my Aha moment... 

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